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Aug 28, 2013 by pippalou
Posted in category: Dogs
Old age has its privileges.  Twelve years ago, I was just a pup, and back in those days, I didn't know much.  When SHE Who Must Be Obeyed said, Come, I came...most of the time.  When SHE said, Sit or Down, I sat or lay down, just as I was supposed to do.  And I never, ever chewed anything up or stole any food or engaged in any of those types of criminal activities that some other dogs habitually undertake.

But now, I'm old.  And, as I said earlier, I have privileges.  SHE says, Come, and I say, Maybe.  When I feel like it.  SHE shrugs, Scout only comes when she wants to anymore.  Oh, well...

When it comes to Sit and Down commands, I have a ready excuse.  Arthritis.  A little limping, a little whining, and you can get out of anything.  Don't make her sit.  It's probably too painful!

That other dog in my house, that intruder, Pippa -  she has to do all the coming, sitting and downing.  She's only three. She has no privileges.

Yesterday was the regular grocery day, and, as usual, I ended up locked in the house with that Pippa for a couple of hours, as if nobody could recognize my superiority.  I never get to ride in the car to the grocery store, which I certainly should, considering I'm old and it's my favorite thing to do.  So I decided  I'd get my revenge.

After what seemed like forever, SHE came home and brought in lots of bags, set some of them down on the floor and left to take the rest to the kitchen.  Hmmmm, I said to myself, sniffing the air.  I smell bones!

KeepKeep on gnawing!
I sauntered over to the bags and rooted around until I found the right one.  I thought, Scout, help yourself!   A quick glance to make sure the coast was clear, and I snagged one of those tasty smoked bones (the biggest one!) and took it over to my dog bed.  No running and hiding for me.  SHE wouldn't do anything to me -  I'm old!

I removed that annoying plastic wrapper, tossed it aside and set to chewing.  Along comes that Pippa glaring, accusing me with her eyes.  I paid no attention.

A little while later, SHE came back, and tattletale Pippa ran over to denounce me.  Scout, what are you chewing on? SHE asked.  She came closer, bent over and saw the wrapping on the floor, the new bone in my paws.  SCOUT!  You took that right out of the bag!  That was for bone night, not for now!!

I said to myself, Pay no attention.  Don't even look up.  Just keep on gnawing.  Suddenly, SHE started to laugh.  Do you think that if I was a young pup SHE would have laughed?  Not a chance.  It's all because I'm old.  Old age has privileges.  You can do what you want, steal what you want and get away with it every time.

For all of you who are sticklers for fairness, I'll just let you know that she got out another bone for that Pippa.  If that dog had any gumption, she would have helped herself!

Now, if I could only figure out a way to get up to that shelf where SHE keeps the treats.  Anybody got a ladder I could borrow?

Scout,Scout, aren't you ashamed?

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