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Jan 8, 2013 by pippalou
Posted in category: Nonsense
Spoiler alert:  This is NOT a story of online crime.  It is a phount of phoolishness.  If sheer nonsense ophphends you, please do not read.

The annual Phlounder's Phounders phestival was in phull swing, phathoms deep in Phuller Lake. All the phreshwater phish who were anybody were there. Everywhere phashionable phish sipped phizzy phizzles and munched on Spam.

The entertainment had just begun when Phreddie Phlounder phlailed in with phins a-phlapping.

“Help! Police! Murder Most Phoul!” cried Phreddie in a voice philled with phear.

The phestivities phailed momentarily. Irritated phish phocused on Phreddie, pheeling peevish at this interruption to their phishy phun.

“A phew phriends and I,” said Phreddie, “were out phor a swim bephore coming to the party and they saw some tasty Spam just phloating in the water. 'Spam! Our Phave!', they yelled.

“Bephore my very eyes, they grabbed the Spam and it phlung them up into the phatal air, and they disappeared!”

“Rather phar-phetched, isn't it, phriends?” “Phoolishness!” “Phiddlesticks!”

“Sounds phairly phishy to me,” scorned the beautiphul Phiona Phlatphish, phlicking her phabulous tail phin.

Phreddie phrowned pherociously right in Phiona's phace, and she swam ophph in a huphph.

“Phooey!” said a deep voice, and complete silence phell. When the Oldest Phlounder spoke, phish listened. His exact age was a mystery, but the years of his long liphe far outnumbered that oph any other phish swimming.

“I hoped the day would never come when when this phoul and philthy crime would descend on our peacephul lake.” He paused for ephphect. “PHISHING! Phishing is it's name!” His voice thundered through the waters.

“Phishing?” Phrenzied whispers darted back and phorth as all the phish looked at one another in bewilderment. Some rolled their phishy eyes, others casually sipped their phizzy phizzles. “Some new-phangled word.” These phashionable phish had little phaith in such phol-de-rol.

“When I was just a phledgling phish,” the old one continued, “my phather phled phrom phishing and came here to pursue a liphe of peace. Now the phishing has phollowed!”

“Phor Phrank's sake, what is it?” asked the phish. “Dephine this Phishing!”

The old one shook his head sorrowfully. “Humans drop what they call a line in the water. At the end oph it is a hook. They phasten phresh phood on the hook. When a phoolish phish goes to phetch the phood... BAM!! He bites the hook, and they haul him out phlopping and phrightened.

“And then,” he phixed them with his bulging phish-eye, “they EAT him!”

Pandemonium phollowed this phinal phrase. Phemales wailed, small phry sobbed, phear prevailed.

“Phishing,” said the Oldest Phlounder in his deepest, most impressive voice, “is a phoul and phiendish menace! Those who go Phishing are out to ruin us! We must PHLY!!”

So they all phlew phrom Phuller's. Phast and phurious, phrantic phrom phear, phinally phinding a home upstream in a wildliphe rephuge - peacephul phamiliy living, anti-phishing controls, phree Spam phor pheasting and phizzy phizzles phor all on Phridays.

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